Friday, March 25, 2011

Back to normal -- whatever that is.....

So, the waiting game is over. Chris has returned from his three month deployment to Afghanistan. Praise the Lord. He sprained an ankle, pulled a muscle in his back and got cut with a rusty piece of metal but it is all good. War wounds of the good kind.
This past week has been an exciting week of homecomings. Last Thursday, Mandie Johnson's husband Brandon came home after a year deployment. I think she is the rock star.
Tuesday, Chris flew in and the kids didn't miss a beat. They jumped all over him and now we feel complete again. It's weird how he just walked back in and it has seemed like an effortless transition so far for us. I hope he feels the same. We love you Dad!
I can sleep a little easier and not worry about waking up late and having to rush Sydney around so she doesn't miss the bus. I can give up my trash duties and toilet cleaning duties -- my two most hated jobs. Laundry is a very close third but I think Rebekah Wilson really enjoys folding my laundry so I don't want to take that blessing away from her. She is welcome over anytime especially when there is freshly laundered clothes on my couch.
What a God send she was to my family while Chris was gone. God knows definately what you need and He will always provide even before you ask. Thank you Lord.
So, back to the hum drum of everyday life as we know it. Sure, I am still here with the kids all day and yes, they still test my limit most days but I know that he will come home to me at night and eat the food I cooked (even when it's not that great) and sleep in my bed and be there to kiss the kids goodnight and that makes me feel very blessed and safe.
I love you Chris and thanks for doing whatever it takes to take care of all of us.
I think the house definately got a lot crazier since he left. It seems like there is always an extra person or kids around and usually an extra mouth to feed or someone crashing on our house. But no matter what or how crazy, there is always love and everyone is welcome. Just give me extra warning so I can make sure the clothes are cleared off the couch.
Biggest hugs and warmest blessings.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Playing the game of catch up.

Okay it has been quite a while since I have blogged -- probably due to the fact that every time, yes every time that the twins are awake, two little monkeys are trying to climb in my lap and help.
Of course, the fact that we skype with Daddy on the computer now doesn't help either. Their daddy now lives in a computer in their world. The computer is a thing of both mystery and joy to them. And as fascinating it is for them, it becomes very frustrating for me to do anything with their help.
Alot has gone on since last blog. The garbage disposer stopped working but one of the grandfathers from the bus stop Mr. Paul helped me to get that working. Last Tuesday, the exterminator discovered termites had moved in. I had to have a few of Chris' friends help move boxes and wood and  leaves and pine straw from out of the shed and by the shed so the exterminator can get to the house exterior wall. They hauled away two trucks of garbage. Thank God for Chris and Don.
The day before my dad and stepmom left last week the hall light blew out. We did check the lightbulb but it was not the culprit. I think I have done enough maintenance since Chris has been gone and that one will have to remain on his honey do list.
I feel like my life is always in catch up mode as of say the last 2 years. About the time, I get one thing finished it is time to start again. For example, MOPS. Our mothers of preschoolers group meets every two weeks. I have one week off and then it is time to start gearing up for the next meeting. I suppose if I didn't have something to do, I would be so bored. But I sure would like to know what boredom feels like for a few hours.
My mother in law gave me a plaque for Valentine's Day. It says the following

Fold........Next Week
Iron.........Get Real

There has never been anything that has pegged me so accurately. Word of wisdom -- if you don't like to do laundry, don't have 4 kids.

The biggest thing that I feel I need to catch up on is sleep however. I am years in the deficit as far as that one is concerned. Last night, Sydney was at a spend the night party and the twins were in bed by 8pm and asleep. Of course, it was preceded by 45 minutes of ear piercing screaming before the silence started. I don't know where she gets her screeching ability from but I feel sorry for the neighbors.
Sarah and I were bathed and in bed by 8:45. I took a pain pill to try and attack the headache that I have had for a solid week now. Grandma was coming to spend the night so help with the babies would be here if reinforcement was needed.
I laid down very proud of the fact that I was in bed before 11pm. Of course, then the post nasal drip started the coughing. It has been a whole week since we have been off antibiotics so we are all due to start with the cough and congestion again. I decided unwisely to take a dose of nighttime cough syrup.
After all, I could use the sleep.
11pm comes and Susannah starts the crying. 30 minutes later still crying and I give up and go get her out of the crib. Well lo and behold, guess who else is up? That's right. Seems I let Susannah wail too long and now Christopher had joined the party.
Susannah only screamed about 20 minutes this time before getting out of my lap to go wrestle her brother. I let them play on the floor to wear themselves down. Remember all the drugs I took?
All of a sudden, I get woke up when something hit my head. I had fallen asleep and Christopher was beating me on the head with a small tin pail. That was my clue they were going back to bed.
Anyhow, did I mention I already had a headache? They cried for about 20 more minutes and thankfully Grandma got up with them the rest of the night. I found all 3 of them on the floor this morning when I got up for church.
I will forever be playing catch up-- especially with the laundry-- for at least for the next 18 years. I wouldn't trade it for anything. How blessed I am to be here to play the game of catch up and not just to be in the stands.
God bless and batter up!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Never a quiet moment

I love the quiet. I never get that anymore but I absolutely crave it even more than the carbohydrates that I am trying to give up.
I am the type of person who will go on a long road trip and won't even turn the radio on. 4 or 5 hours without music just the sound of the road. But, my car trips now consist of screaming and yelling and being pegged by toys in the head by my son who is trying to develop his pitching arm. And I wouldn't trade it in for anything in the world.
My house is never quiet. Right this second, there is an extra little one over here and I truly now believe that after 4 it doesn't matter how many you have because it can't get any more crazy and they truly do play with each other.
The twins' nap time is usually my down time. Actually, it is when I try to keep up with my new hobby, couponing. I wish I could enjoy my old hobby, napping, but Sarah doesn't share the same love for afternoon naps as I do.
Anyhow, the other day I heard babbling in the cribs after nap time. No, crying just back and forth babble between the 2 cribs. I figured I'd let them entertain each other for a little bit and do a little more work.
Well, that was a big mistake. I walk in the nursery after 15 minutes or so and swell the foulest smell. It smelled like the diaper pail had exploded.
I look at the babies and notice that Christopher is no longer wearing a diaper. You all know where this is going right? I looked in the crib and he had peed in it of course but I assumed that the culprit of the smell was Susannah, the child still fully dressed. Not her. Then it was discovered that he had pooped but where in the world was it. I moved blankets and checked his sister's crib which is in throwing distance of his. After no discovery in the beds, I proceed to move the cribs and there it was lying at the head of the crib just like a dog had come by and did his business.
I got through 2 children without the first incidence of this. I guess it was bound to happen. I will just add this to the list of firsts and lessons learned. Christopher will never go to bed again without pants on again.
So, in my house, if it is quiet it means that someone is doing something that they shouldn't and some days I am quicker than others to go survey the damage and clean up the aftermath.
At least, none of my children have flushed anything down the toilet. Of course, there's always next week. Oh, gotta go get Susannah down off the dinner table.
God bless.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Happy birthday!

Today or actually yesterday in his time zone was my husband's 37th birthday. Crazy to think that we are gonna be in our 40's in a couple of years. My blood pressure goes up a little everytime I have to fill out a questionnaire online that has age brackets. I keep getting bumped up and I think now I am in the 35-47 year old age bracket according to the last poll I took. Yikes!
Okay, so happy birthday Chris. Glad you got some cake and icecream. It seems like we have celebrated more birthdays apart than we have had together. That's okay when we are old and gray and nothing better to do we can have a birthday each day to celebrate the fact that we woke up that morning. That sounds fun. Cake and icecream every day.
I am so lucky to have a great supportive man in my life. I truly am blessed. What more could I ask for? Three beautifuls daughters, a fantastic husband, and an incredibly handsome little boy.
And to think I was scared to death about raising a boy. But, that little guy has wrapped me all around his finger. All Christopher has to do is smile and all becomes right with the world.
The other day, I was in the kitchen trying to cook and he had a toy car that he was running up and down my leg as he tried to make the "vroom" sound. Priceless. I am so glad that God blessed me with that.
A son for me was definately one of those things that you didn't know you were misssing until you had one. It truly has become a blessing (most days) to trip over toy cars now. Looking very much forward to the days of t-ball and soccer and basketball.
Thanks Chris for sharing these precious children with me and allowing me to be their mother even though most days I am just trying to keep my head above water. And thank you God for knowing what we truly need in our lives and not listening to what we think we want.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A new journey

Okay guys so as I sit here eating from a big bag of Reese's pieces I am a little saddened but mainly hopeful about my new journey. A week ago, a doctor from the holistic health center came to visit our MOPS group. She has spoke at all the area MOPS groups and came very highly recommended. I made an appointment for a consultation and had my urine and saliva tested at her office today.
The results were astounding. I feel validated actually that all the fatigue and exhaustion I have dealt with (even before breast cancer and children) is actually a condition that she feels can be turned around with some simple minerals and dietary changes.
So, no more binging on icecream and reese's pieces after the kids have gone to bed. People with blood type O do not handle carbs well. Therefore, the only starches I am allowed is rice and sweet potatoes. She is allowing me to keep my 2 Dr. Peppers a day because she feels my pain and I can drink coffee. So, I will gladly give up my sweets for the Dr. Pepper.
I will take a probiotic, mineral drops and some vitamins that will return full function to my thyroid which is operating at maximum capacity and doing a poor job. She remains hopeful that I will see improvement in as little as 3 days.
I pray that this will be the answer to many lost years. Sydney, age 7, has never known a mom who feels like running around and playing catch and jumping rope and riding bikes and all the fun things that moms and daughters do. I have just sat by and watch her and her dad share all this high energy activities. She doesn't know a mom who is not always taking medicine for headaches and muscle pains. She has seen a mom brought home from the hospital more times than I would like. She cries for me and worries about me when I don't feel good.
And I am tired of it. I am tired of being tired and not being the mom that she deserves or not being able to be the mom that I want to be or the wife that is kayaking or bike riding with her husband or the one who doesn't have to lie down to nap most days. I want to have energy left at the end of the day to be able to give my kids a bath or cook a nice dinner. I want my life back.
So pray for my ability to stick with this and pray for tangible results that I can feel and that my children and husband can see.
I am optimistic. I know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" but I pray that this is one of the vessels He will use to give me some of that strength and the life that He wants for me back. Not necessarily for me but for my kids.
So to those of you who have called me "super mom" before, I am just as worn out, stressed and sleep deprived as you all. So at least I know the reasons now for the years of aches and pain and memory fogginess and fatigue.
I will let you all know in 3 days what things are like. Remember me in your prayers and please pray that the lack of sugar doesn't make me moodier than I already am. My children especially will appreciate that prayer. And I know that Chris is very thankful that he won't be here to see that train if it derails.
It is a little astounding to think that my husband could come back to a whole different woman than he married. Being able to do the things that I have always wanted to do but just didn't have the energy to do, well that in itself would truly be a miracle.
Stay tuned..........

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Why does time go so quickly and our bodies go with it?

Okay, twins are down for a nap, Sarah is working on her 3rd snack of the morning and the laundry is going. After the piles are taller than the kids, it is time to start washing. Forget about the folding and putting it away that is all optional. At least they are clean right?
Mama's going out tonight to a fancy party and I'm going stag. Going to meet up with one of my girlfriends and be her "date" for the night. Anyhow, should be fun. Nails done check. Hope they don't get messed up before tonight when there is still much work to be done. Babysitter check. She's even coming early so I am assured a shower and time for makeup application. Dinner for kids -- pizza-- check. Outfit for tonight -- not so much.
Well, you know how you hang on to clothes waiting for the day that you will lose your baby weight and look as great as you did before you had 4 kids. Why do we do that? Even if we get to the same weight again, body configurations are never the same. What is up with that? Half of my closet is things that I will fit in again one day. My wardrobe looks like that of the yo-yo dieter. Larger clothes that don't fit anymore but might fight if I keep eating chocolate to curb my daily stress and smaller clothes that I wore back in highschool because one day I will get down to that size again. Yeah, right.
Anyways, last night at 11pm I started trying on outfits for this black tie event tonight. Why did I procrastinate? Oh yeah, my 4 kids needs came before mine and I had to go to the grocery store before their sale went off. By the way, I got $200 worth of groceries for $92.00. Score!
Okay, 11pm trying on clothes in the living room so I don't wake Sarah who is sleeping in my bed. Found 2 dresses in the way back of the closet. The short black dressy dress that I have never worn (was a good deal and waiting to get down to that size). Anyways, that would work if I didn't breath or bend over during the night. I must have gotten taller since I bought it 10 years ago. Dress #2 was worn to the Marine Corp ball pre-kids. Yeah, that wasn't happening either but of course, I am gonna hold onto that one because one day.......
So, borrowed a few outfits from my friend Suzy. Several options. Think I finally decide on something so I go to pull out my black high heels and wipe the dust off of them except I realize they are navy not black.
And I haven't checked the weather but it will probably be 20 degrees tonight and I'll be wearing a short sleeveless dress. Oh well, so will probably 80% of the ladies there.
I am excited about getting to socialize in party attire. Very excited for Frankie and Michael Brooks -- 5 years. It seems like yesterday I was just at their 1 year anniversary party. Cannot believe it.
What am I gonna wear? Not 100% sure yet. Better finish figuring that one out before the babies wake up and before it is time to pick up Sydney from gymnastics and after I clean the toilets and play cars with Sarah and what was I supposed to be doing.......oh yeah, the outfit.
God bless and have a fun weekend.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Catch up time

Wow, I figured this would happen. Start blogging and then get to busy to blog. Actually, I couldn't figure out for a while how to get back into my blog. Just one of the everyday challenges for a technically challenged mother of four.
This is how bad I am. Christopher got hold of the remote one day and totally screwed the television up. We couldn't get anything but snow. Chris was out of town so for 2 days we didn't have tv. It didn't seem to bother anyone but Sarah. I thought she would have a nervous breakdown because she missed Caillou and Max and Ruby for 2 days.
Okay, this past week, my dad and stepmom were here. It was very nice to have help and my children enjoyed playing with them. Linda cooked and did my laundry as well as watch the kids so I could run much needed errands without getting the biggest shopping cart the stores had. Papa and Linda I guarantee will sleep well this week.
We attended our Aunt Ruby's 90th birthday celebration yesterday in the big town of McRae Georgia. If you blink you'll pass right through it. I always love seeing her. I hope I look that well at 90.
I am surprised I stayed as long as I did. I seriously did not think this one out well. There were 3 adults to 4 kids. Pretty good ratio, huh? I seriously need a GPS tracker on these two.
My true concern was that the cake table and punch table didn't get knocked down before Aunt Ruby at least made it to her surprise party. Between Sarah and Sydney playing hide and seek around the food tables and the twins running off in opposite directions, my stress level hit a new high.
By the time, Susannah stepped in Sarah's plate of birthday cake and Christopher spilled the drink. I knew it was time for diaper changes and a quick exit while the building was still intact.
I totally have such admiration for the single moms. God bless you all.
In the wee hours of the morning, when one of the babies wake up just to say "hey" and decide they want to play at 1am for a 2 hour span of time, I realize how blessed I am to be here to see it.
I know usually that playing the "what if" game is not a good thing. However, I think it keeps me centered and thankful in this instance.
Things could have been so differently for my family and praise God they aren't, but there was a real possibility that I might not have been here to see them or that none of us would be here at all. God not only spared my life but my twins' lives as well. What great mercy he showed us. What a wonderful gift that was given to us.
I try to think on those "what ifs" as I am pulling babies off of the kitchen table and wrapping the toilet paper rolls back up and refolding laundry. I could have missed all of this. I am thankful for the journey and much better for it.
It is a wild ride and I am so thankful to have family and friends around to help me when I need a helping hand. God bless all of you for the love that you have shown me and my family. I truly am blessed beyond belief. Love to you all. Good night.